Wednesday 7 February 2018

From Script To Screen - Online Greenlight Review 2

Due to the inability to get Adobe Story working correctly without a subscription, my script is wrote on Microsoft Word and follows as a separate PDF document under the main embed OGR file.

Reference Links:

Character Design:

http://thomassherwood.blogspot.co.uk/2018/01/character-design-personalized-equipment.html

http://thomassherwood.blogspot.co.uk/2018/02/character-design-creating-creature-for.html

Soundscape:

http://thomassherwood.blogspot.co.uk/2018/01/soundscape-adobe-audition-nasa-sounds.html

http://thomassherwood.blogspot.com/2018/01/soundscape-adobe-audition-speech-tone.html

http://thomassherwood.blogspot.co.uk/2018/02/soundscape-remastering-music.html

Maya:

http://thomassherwood.blogspot.co.uk/2018/01/maya-tutorials-bounce-pendulum-chain.html

http://thomassherwood.blogspot.co.uk/2018/02/maya-tutorial-felix-jnr-rig-walk.html

Life Drawing:

http://thomassherwood.blogspot.com/2018/02/life-drawing.html

Film Review:

http://thomassherwood.blogspot.com/2018/01/film-review-psycho-1960.html

http://thomassherwood.blogspot.com/2018/02/film-review-birds-1963.html

Animation:

http://thomassherwood.blogspot.co.uk/2018/01/adobe-animate-unplanned-throwing.html

http://thomassherwood.blogspot.co.uk/2018/02/adobe-animate-unplanned-abstract-music.html




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1 comment:

  1. tutorphil8 February 2018 at 11:24

    OGR 08/02/2018

    Hi Tom,

    Okay - so lots to be encouraged by here - not least the bold stylisation of your characters. I have to say that I think you need to develop your characters much further, as certainly the last 3 are not distinguishable enough from one another to make the 'march of technology' completely clear: I think it might be as simple as you make the trad clock guy mostly round, you make the digital clock guy mostly square, you make the smart phone guy 'iPhone-shaped' ... I think it's all got to be much clearer much more immediately (if you were to turn your three 'modern' characters into silhouettes, they'd largely be indivisible from one another and that's a problem).

    In design terms - the company buildings too - at the moment you've got variations on a theme of a clock-tower, but again, keep it simple and align everything with the key features of the tech.

    I can't completely follow your storyboard - I found I had to keep looking back at the script - and even then, it's not quite reading for me; for example, in your script you say the old watch guy leaves the shop with wood repurposed from the grandfather clock... but to do what? Is he about to board up his shop? Also, in your script you don't actually tell anyone what is in the content of the letter that so cheers up the old watch-maker - I think I know the letter is telling him that someone wants an old watch made because they're tired of all the new tech because we talked about this, but I can't find that info in the script or in the boards.

    So - I think your story works: I think your approach to character design etc is exciting, but I do think you need to think much more so about the ways in which your characters and environments must convey themselves immediately and simply. You've got a lot of characters and they all representative of a shift-up in the story, so they really need to be distinctive. My advice would be to keep it simple, and ensure that the four silhouettes of your characters are all distinct from one another - likewise the factories etc. I'd also suggest in terms of visual communication, you need to dial up the precision of your boards before you seek to create an animatic from them and ensure that all the story content you need us to have is out there on the screen and made completely visible to us.



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